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Showing posts from 2013

NO I'M NOT GOIN, BRUH!

You Going to the Parade?
Pride- A feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements. Every time I hear someone say, "I love gay people" I want to punch them in a kidney. Expressions like this are symptomatic of overzealousness and are horribly transgressive. Really? You like ALL gay people? Don't get me wrong: I love quite a few. But I don't love every member of any group. But, You, asshole, have either met all of them (impossible) or you've accurately assessed the psychology of all of the LGBTQ community through a non-sample study (quintuple impossible, factoring in the idiots who say such things)? To say you love every member of a group as if they are all mascots out to amuse you, whether they be gay, black, disabled, dumb, tall, or a fucking dog, is to deny the individuality of it's members and, in truth, makes you sound like a bit of an asshole. I will not be attending the Pride parade. Granted, I am out of town. But, If I …

IT WAS FAST ENOUGH AND IT WAS FURIOUS ENOUGH! MENTOS IN COKE (THE POWDER KIND) POURED INTO COKE (THE LIQUID KIND)!

HOLY SHTI! FAST 6? MORE LIKE FAST 1,000,000!  
While you guys were off sniffin each others bung holes at the Noam Chomsky film festival, I watched Fast and Furious 6! Shit was awesome and the little teaser for 7 made my butt pucker a bit. I hope my career takes me on a trajectory where I can be in #20 because that shit will probably be in space and have Tupac in it. Also, big up to the Ladi Dadi sitting next to us. You weren't super cute but seeing Fast and Furious by yourself is STUCK ON SEXY!
#mofosjumpingoutofcars#downtonassey#walkingthroughflames#hashtagonfacebook#boxsetexceptfortheBowWowone
To Vincent Terry, My Father. Wild, outgoing, sometimes and asshole, a great man to have in your corner (when you're in a corner), wayward, quick-tempered and very. very funny. It's sad that my dad and I are nothing alike. Thank you pop for being the man who decided I should take the bus by myself at 8. And thanks for following me for 2 weeks when I started. I owe a ton for my mother's gentleness and a ton to my father's calluses. Happy Fathers' Day, Vincent Terry. You are are the reason I insist on all three names.
Best Quote: He must have a horseshoe up his ass.
REST IN PEACE, BERNARD.
Bernard Sahlins has died at 90
When I was 21 I sat at the Starbucks under Second City and had coffee with this man. I really just wanted to know what the secret to a long career in the theatre might look like for me. He asked me. "Well, what do you want to do?" In my earnest and unwavering voice I said simply said, "I want to WORK." In one of few moments, his smile left his face and In that familiarLY soft, wavy, gentle voice he chastised, "Well, that's boring. If you want to work, then go make it yourself." To this day, that moment drives me forward. I will always remember that the man who invited Heavy Hitters to see me in a fucking school play fell asleep as the commencement speaker to UIC's class of 2004 (and multiple rehearsals, of course). He may have no natural born children, but I'm sure many will be wishing this man a happy and peaceful Fathers' Day. Rest in peace, Bernie. "Yes, and..."

Verizon Wins

Sponsored by Verizon. As I sit at the airport across from the charging station I look directly ahead of me. Sitting directly 10 feet in front of me is a very beautiful woman. She sits, her hand resting over the retractable handle on her cheap, Target-born luggage. Not even American Tourister. She looks about 26–or 36. It’s hard to tell these days. She is raceless. Her lavender fleece demures her slight, cute frame. 
Probably Asian. Weird.

Her phone charges as she sits, angled away from the station hunched and facing the passing crowds. Away from the mess the power outlets make. People huddle around them as if it’s a garbage can fire burning unsold streetwise newspapers. Somebody needs a fix. They stack over and snake around each other like the plugs and cables they withdraw from backpacks-with-wheels and gym bags. I wonder what she is thinking.

“I’m hungry.”
“He probably can’t wait to see me.”
“Who the fuck is this stud looking at me, typing and sitting on the apron of the people move…

Tracking disabled, you rotten sick sonofabitch.

"Do you want to disable tracking"? Does a bear shit in the woods? But, I have no choice. Of this I am certain. (can I "like" the idea though?) I tend to be a bit of a conspiracy theorist. In fact, any minority that isn't I admit I view with a bit of apprehension, dismay and perhaps disdain. A minority friend recently said to me that getting involved in thoughts of conspiracy are pointless because it doesn't matter how much you think about it because there is nothing to you can do about it. I think this is in itself a conspiration of silence in which we are encouraged to participate. If those in power can convince you to say nothing about the moderately-to-obviously questionable then they can convince a person to simply agree on the mild, but deadly offenses one sees everyday. Shit is shoveled into our faces daily and we digest it—in every sense of the word— simply (in our metaphorical stomachs, our brains, and on social media) as long as the cookies we get …

On the NYT Book review... FUCK "OUR" "BLUE COLLAR" OUTRAGE!

I can completely understand that the reaction of many to what I have to say may make me sound like a turncoat, but "We need to talk about Kevin". But several facebook friends posted this and I had to get in on this. for those who haven't read this hilariously brave review (Chicagoans is crazy about Chicago!) see below.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/21/books/review/the-third-coast-by-thomas-dyja-and-more.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

Interesting read. I wanted to comment on this because the jingoism associated with the "BLUE-COLLAR type of town" mentality is simply no longer true, belies our citizens' (righteous, in my opinion) own cries of inequality, and the evidence supported by the empirically measured migration rate and anecdotal listing as a city only less miserable than Flint, Detroit and Rockford (GODDAMN!)  Chicago has a history of deep deep segregation, isolation, nepotism, cronyism and political/slanted rhetoric (where "Windy" comes from) …